episode 11 - Secret Day

summary

Flashback - Tohma is running desperately along a New York street. He bursts into a darkened room, and stops, out of breath and horrified. Eiri is kneeling on the ground, holding a gun, and there is a body surrounded by a pool of blood in front of him. Tohma hugs him, and Eiri starts to cry. Tohma whispers that he's sorry, and that it's all his fault. Cut back to the present, where Tohma is sitting in a hospital, looking distraught. Mika rushes up and asks him what he means when he says Eiri's collapsed. He closes his eyes, and apologises, saying it's all his fault.

Over at the Bad Luck press conference, the celebration of their first million album sales are still going on. Shuichi wanders off to phone Eiri whle Hiro blushes and rambles about whether to phone Ayeka and then gets annoyed because nobody's listening to him. Meanwhile, K tells Shuichi, rather brutally, that Yuki coughed up blood and went to hospital.

Cut to the hospital. Eiri is awake, and acting very laid-back about the whole thing while Tohma and Mika are visiting - Mika seems a lot more worried than he is. She tells him he's got to stop this - he knows what caused the collapse. We then see Shuichi dashing up to the door of the room, and hesitating outside when he hears voices - it's Mika, saying Yuki should split up with Shuichi and leave the country, since he can write as well abroard as he can hear. Eiri asks ironically if he should go to New York, and Tohma gets an odd, sad expression. Eiri agrees that if Shuichi is the cause of the problem, they should split up. Tohma, who has been sitting silently at the back through all this, gets up and walks over to the bed, asking if Eiri is sure he's okay with breaking up - and Eiri says he is. Shuichi has vanished from outside the door.

On the way out, Shuichi meets Hiro and K, and sadly explains that he should split up with Eiri because it's been him that's making Eiri ill. To his surprise, Hiro and K cheerfully agree, saying living with Shuichi is enough to make anyone ill. Shuichi bursts into tears, and they wonder if he was serious.

In a park that night, Hiro is telling Shuichi not to brood. Shuichi continues to brood, and says Eiri probably only stayed with him because he was kind. Hiro says Shuichi's probably right - he's too annoying to stay with otherwise. Shuichi gets mad, and rants for a bit - making Hiro smile, and say that's the most energetic he's been in ages. He asks Shuichi whether those are Eiri's true feelings - and says that perhaps Shuichi should ask Eiri himself.

Over at NG Pro, K and Tohma are in conference. K says he's concerned about Shuichi and Eiri's breakup. Tohma asks why - hasn't K used Eiri enough? And he's satisfactorily publicised Shuichi's name. K says he hasn't - he's only sold a million albums. Tohma compliment's K's skills as a manager, saying he loves people like that - but he still wants to break up Eiri and Shuichi.

Shuichi goes to visit Eiri in hospital, and kisses him while he's sleeping, saying he doesn't want Eiri to leave - but doesn't want him to suffer either. That is, he *thinks* he's sleeping, till Eiri sits up and tells him not to be so patient, and not to apologise - it's dull. Shuichi says that he'll die if Eiri goes away and leaves him. Eiri tells him not to be so serious - he's boring when he's not simple and direct. Eiri starts talking cryptically about whether to die or not, then tells Shuichi that he'll take him to that theme park on a date.

Shuichi announces to the rest of Bad Luck that he's taking the day off for his date, and Sakano says it's a good idea - he can come back to work refreshed. Meanwhile, Nittle Grasper are leaving a radio session. Tohma says he has some work to do so he has to leave, and Noriko wonders whether he's not doing too much work, but Tohma assures her that he's enjoying it, and leaves by himself. K then turns up, and Ryuichi tries (and fails) to glomp on him. K and Noriko get into an odd conversation, which deals in a roundabout way with Shuichi, Tohma, and the fact that K is angry about something. Then Ryuichi turns up inside a vending machine (?!) and says Tohma's not off being angry, he's grieving - and then wonders whether he has a stomach ache. K and Noriko are annoyed, because they thought Ryuichi was going to say something intelligent for once.

Eiri is on the phone to Mika, who says that once Tohma has decided on doing something, it's as good as done - there's nothing she can do except keep an eye on Eiri's 'unhealed wounds'. Then Eiri and Shuichi drive to the amusement park, and do amusement park things - including getting some sticker photos. Early evening in the park, and Eiri and Shuichi are standing overlooking the sea - and Eiri begins to tell Shuichi about his past. He shows Shuichi a picture of him and the man he killed - his teacher from New York. He moved there with Tohma when he was young, because he always used to be bullied because of his looks in Japan. He was attracted to his new private tutor - but killed him, though he doesn't really remember it. His teacher's name was Kitazawa Yuki, which is where he got his pen-name from. Shuichi is slightly freaked (understandably), and runs off to get some drinks. The Shuichi thinks that perhaps, because Eiri trusts him enough now to talk about it, that maybe Eiri loves him. Meanwhile, Eiri is remembering the past in New York with Kitazawa - and thinking that he just can't forget. He tears up the photo, and throws the pieces into the sea. Crying, he tells Yuki to go home. When Shuichi returns, Eiri has vanished.

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Waiiii!! Tohma-kun no kawaii! *huggles*

Okay, having got the embarrassing fangirl reaction out of the way - how can *anyone* dislike Tohma after seeing the beginning of this episode? His desperation, his irrational sense of guilt and over-responsibility - there's no way Eiri's condition actually *is* his fault, but he's convinced it is. And the way he's so controlled about his emotions most of the time makes the outbreaks in this episode all the more poignant. Poor darling...

Note also that he makes very certain to be sure that Eiri is all right with breaking up with Shuichi before he tries to separate them. It's not even Tohma who suggests the separation - it's Mika. If I seem to be labouring this point, it's because too many people seem to think of Tohma as vindictive and cruelly anti-Shuichi because of Eiri, whereas that really wasn't the case most of the time.

Then of course we get the scene where Tohma and K are talking in Tohma's office... *shivers* That scene gives me chills. The little evil half-smirk when he says he'll definitely have Eiri and Shuichi separated - I know he was perfectly willing to let the relationship go ahead, but permit him just a *little* glee that they're going to be breaking up? Neither K nor Tohma exactly show themselves in their best lights here (though Tohma's apparent bitterness at how Eiri's been used by K for publicity is a redeeming feature), but they're so *deliciously* manipulative, I can forgive them a lot...

favourite lines and scenes

TOHMA: (to young Eiri) You're not to blame. It's all my fault...
(flashforward to the hospital)
TOHMA: Forgive me, Mika-san. It's all my fault...
Don't you just *love* Tohma when he's guilt-ridden and depressed? *evil smile*. It always reminds me of that line in Endless Waltz about Quatre - 'if you let him, he'll find a way to say there's no air in space because he didn't work at it hard enough.' Bless...

And from the sublime to the ridiculous...
SHUICHI: What about protecting each other till death? Have I wrecked our friendship? Like a stopping guard without danger, a doused firework, a sudden hurricane, a car with only an engine, a guitar with cut strings, a teacher without questions, a cordless bungee jump, an Englishman without English, I'll have no one to rely on!
*laugh* Shuichi babbling all that in the space of about ten seconds flat when he's talking about Eiri breaking up with him. Hiro's disinterested expression all the while is classic.